Fascination and Curiosity

Patrick, a client (not his real name), and his girlfriend went out together and had a good time, the first time in awhile. He tried to get the news on the radio on the way home.  She said, "Nobody cares about that" and switched stations.  A "punch in the stomach" like he wasn't "worth anything" was his experience. Negatives about her followed, a familiar pattern. As a Gestalt therapist I don't focus on change directly   Fascination and curiosity are my by-words. . .they affect how I 'take in' and work. "Punch in the stomach". . ."not worth anything". . . I'm fascinated in a kind of impersonal way. Fascination, by the way, does great things for the relationship. And I'm curious. I ask questions. Experiments occur to me. (We'll come back to the questions.)

I ask him to stand and with his hands up, palms facing me, I push against his hands.  He loses his balance.  I suggest he plant his feet solidly, focusing on the place in his midsection that feels like his center.  I push again. I notice something as I push -his legs don't bend.  He is bracing himself- quickly realizing this makes him more of a pushover, not less. I ask him when he feels like he's "worth something."  I want to see what's inside. "Playing keyboards," something he's done most of his life. Where in his body does he feel that?  Stomach area–diaphragm.  How does it feel? Relaxed, comfortable.   Visuals?  Warm pearl, smooth, shiny, cream-colored.   A tree with a big trunk. He imagines the earlier scene with his wife.  From this place of body experience, it feels different. I move from fascination to what to do next. How to respond to help him explore his experience. Then back to fascination and curiosity, and so on. 'Fascinated and curious' questions:  "what came next. . .and then what happened?" "Who was involved?" "How did you feel when that happened?. . . and how do you feel now?" "Want do you feel in your body?"  "What stopped you from doing that?"  "What did you want? . . . and what do you want now?"  Richer detail, which means fresh perspectives. This awareness of body experience, it's a tool.  A tool to use to shift experience.  It's a way of knowing.  Gestalt therapy is not so much body-oriented as it is whole-person oriented.  I am fascinated with the whole person.