Wholeness and the Place of Knowing

"We ignore Wholeness because we're so fixed on our object–the thing we've drawn, the thing we feel, the thing we've identified. But we ignore the fact that whatever our object is not is present as well. By splitting Reality into parts, and then focusing on the single part, we've tuned out the Whole. We've set ourselves up for confusion and despair." – Steve Hagen, Buddhism Plain & Simple, 1997

I got the following in an email from a client:

"Things are getting a lot worse for me within the last week since I saw you. I am thinking about quitting Ann (personal trainer) altogether. We can talk about it tomorrow. I'm sure I can cancel the appointment on Friday. I also want to talk to you about the appropriate code to use on submitting a claim to my insurance. I want to try to make myself get a claim done this weekend. My problem is really getting myself to do anything…"

So what happens when I read this? I feel her being pulled away from her own 'knowing' and contact with herself.

I know in my being that her experience of what's 'wrong' means somewhere in her is a sense of what's 'right.' That's from Gestalt therapy: we are inherently complete and whole. We know what 'wholeness' is. But we block this 'knowing.' We cut off our experience of parts of ourselves. Here she's cut off from her intuitive non-rational knowing – her 'whole-person' knowing.

Intellectual knowing is supported in our culture, non-rational is not. We're all vulnerable to this cutting off. Together we can locate her wholeness – I know that. In our next session, we work with recognizing and integrating her cut-off sense of wholeness. Awareness in the 'here and now' is the way. Through awareness, we can connect to our inborn capacity to grow and heal. I ask her to go inside — into her body. And once there, to go to a situation where she knows what she wants. It comes quickly: She often goes to a family-run Central American carryout – that's the situation. And what she knows is that she wants to give them a tip. A small thing, but very clearly different from when she goes to Starbucks. Tips are expected there. She gives tips there also, but it doesn't feel the same. It's not from the same place of knowing. I know this is a place of wisdom.

From here, we explore the questions about what she wants to do about Ann and Dr. Coleman. She knows what she wants to do. This place of 'knowing' is the place of wholeness in this woman.